| Job Opening |
 Job Opening
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May. 14th, 2008 @ 08:57 pm 
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Dear Mr. President:
I see where the Solicitor General of the United States Paul Clement is stepping down, and he's the guy in your justice department who handles the cases before the Supreme Court. I think it was pretty mean of him to quit just when you and Laura were all excited about the big wedding. (BTW, may your first grandchild be a masculine child!).
I know what you're thinking: who the heck am I gonna get to fill this job what with the administration coming to an end and all. Like, who's gonna drop everything just so he can tell his grandkids, "Hey, guess what? I was Solicitor General for six whole months" (or whatever).
Well, it just so happens Mr. President that through a peculiar combination of circumstances I am available and willing. Oh, sure, I realize that I've been holding out for one of those Supreme Court vacancies, or even AG, but you know, I've been thinking it over and figure that Solicitor General would be ok for now if my country really needs me, and God knows they do. (See, in one small way I'm like that Obama guy: I'm ready to do God's work when called, and btw my number's in the book; which reminds me, did you know God's direct line is et cum spiri-2-2-0? That's an old altar boy joke you can ask Benedict about next time you see him and I'm sure he'll chuckle, especially if you follow it up with the "Dominick go frisk 'em" one which always gets a belly laugh at the communion breakfasts, at least it did before 1965).
So how about it? I'm sure I wouldn't embarrass you, like that would make a difference at this point, and the arguments in the Supreme Court are pretty much all done now until October, and I'm sure we could ask the CJ to postpone any appearance of mine until after the November election and after that, if I screw up, who's gonna give a crap anyway?
Not that it matters, because I'm doing this to serve my country, but does this job come with health insurance and/or a limo?
Yours in strict-construction-originalist mode,
Robert N. Going
PS I have Scotusblog on my LiveJournal Friends Page, so I'm up to date with the current cases and I'm perfectly willing to take either your side or Cheney's on the DC gun issue should it come up again, whichever way you guys decide. I also have friended ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) meep and theevilhalf so I'm pretty confident I have all the angles covered.
Buy my novel The Evil Has Landed
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